Being a starter means I’m the kind of person that tries lots of things. I have an insatiable appetite for discovery and seem to be good at anything I am excited about. What that means is I can be super efficient and effective but also that even if I’m good at something, if I am not excited about the direction or team then my skills are set to languish as the sponsor, team, or company watches in frustration as I chase butterflies.

This also happens with my relationships. I tend to date a lot and once things are secure I get disinterested and start feeling trapped. Control equals boring I guess… Conversely, if I am interested in someone and they repel me then I tend to get a broken heart and fill in all of the gaps with what I could do to make it work (which is really limitless). Having this “starter” sort of ADHD (which I have) mentality means that I have variety, creativity, success in my life but also that I have way more uphill battles and “earning respect” moments. It also means I get my heart broken more.

Tonight I got my heart broken when a great girl told me that we were just too busy to make it work and that our schedules didn’t match. It hurts and makes me feel like I could, and would, change my schedule to get it right but the truth is there have been other relationship moments with other people when I needed to fill in my schedule just to get away. Food for thought.