Last night, aside from struggling to fall asleep and waking up several times in the wee hours of the morning, I had some amazing dreams. One in particular had me sitting in the side balcony of a dark crowded theater somewhere in Las Vegas, listening to new songs from top bands (much like a product demo CES or MacWorld but for artists). I was shocked and amazed to see a girl supposedly from Circa Survive come out and perform with some other band and then next up was Circa Survive! It was crazy, they performed a new song (apparently from their new album which has yet to be released in real life) and it was great. This song was catchy but it had that same Anthony Green sound we all love.

So I woke up, now at like 5:40am, and I had this song in my head! It’s hard to say whether it’s what they were singing or something else but it was a new song and I sprung over to my Mac and started recording it with one of my favorite programs, WireTap Studio. I even got my guitar out and quietly started trying to figure out the chords. I’ve captured something new that will become a start for a song someday but I can’t say it’s as good or even the same as the dream. This has happened before and it’s a real challenge, invigorating but also frustrating because I want to capture the beautiful sounds I dream but I can’t write music and the memory is fleeting upon waking. When I was younger I once dreamed a whole orchestra sounding something like Beethoven, instruments that I don’t even know exist, all playing this beautiful symphony.

The more I learn about and play new music the more active my creative mind becomes and songs start to take form. Singing and playing the guitar are the most inspiring and challenging activities in my life right now. Regarding the dreams, I’m convinced that they are a way that our body and mind combine actual information, risks and opportunities to give us an obstacle course, a realm to explore safely and then apply the learning to real life (just like I did this morning).

This is the funniest, most clever video + marketing I’ve seen since Colbert attached Miracle Whip and they responded during a commercial spot on his program using his name! Tosh.0 (in case you don’t know him) is a commedian that uses the web and sort of rants about videos and events. Sometimes he actually meets people in real life to give them a “web redemption” but most of the time it’s just him commenting on videos and making some of his own. The one below is called Smoking Smarties, transcript to follow.

[cut to Tosh.0] alright, there’s one thing the Truth campaign can’t deny. Smoking really does look cool.

[cut to young black kid smoking smarties] “right now I’m gonna teach you how to smoke smarties, you’re gonna bang ‘em on something hard, like real hard, and like this (he slams them on a dictionary, then breathes in the smartie sugar powder then puffs it out his mouth and nose).

[cut back to Tosh.0] I didn’t know smarties came in menthol? …alright, I just worry about his little sister, who has to breathe all that second hand smartie smoke. It’s not fair, smarties are a gateway drug, before you know it you’re blowing your entire allowance so you can mainline starbursts. I should know, I’ve been there… (tosh then puts a pink starburst into a spoon, uses a lighter to liquify it, then loads a syringe and injects it into his left arm, he experiences a happy trip and tries to grab a fish, then he wakes up) fuck! I only have yellow left. Now that’s a sugar high! Comedy Central wants to remind you that you should not mainline starbursts.

Just below is the Mayo commercial with Stephen Colbert and if you visit this page you can see their two response ads… Now that’s marketing!

Tonight I bought the PC version of Mass Effect twice… That’s right, I didn’t buy Mass Effect 2, I bought the first game twice. I spent $40 for two copies of the same game for the same computer. I did this because I realized (after purchasing it on Direct2Drive and downloading their GameSpy client Comrade thing) that Steam also offered it. And let me just say, Steam is the best (and the original) digital distribution, digital rights management, multiplayer and communications platform. It’s functionality, community, quality and speed far surpass other game download clients and it’s obvious why it controls an estimated 70% of the digital distribution market.

I’ve been using Steam since it was first released in 2002, back when I just starting college. This was a time when game downloaders and digital game purchasing in general was completely new and almost offensive to publishers. Valve was teamed up with publisher Vivendi at the time and was getting into lawsuits over the digital distribution rights to their games, “Valve’s Steam content distribution system attempted to circumvent publishing agreements” and the two weren’t getting along for various reasons. Thankfully, founders Gabe Newell and Mike Harrington (both long-time Microsoft employees before starting Valve in 1996) who are both awesome and smart + well funded and dedicated pulled out the stops and made it work. They pioneered a way to distribute games without plastic and paper that serves as a precursor to iTunes and other successful systems like Xbox Live.

So why am I hatin’ on Direct2Drive here? What’s wrong with their tag along product? Well, I love IGN and Jessica Chobot just as much as the next guy (heck, I live here in San Francisco where it all goes down vs. Bellevue Washington where Valve’s headquarters are) and I recognize their competitive advertising advantage, owning IGN and many other top media outlets, but Steam is just so much faster, cleaner, well thought out – the system was built by hackers, people who appreciate the art of gaming and computing vs. glitz and media. Here’s the real reason, after five years of using Steam it still remembers all of the games I’ve bought and connects into an online community! By contrast, tonight when I downloaded and signed in to Comrade it only listed the ONE game I had just purchased, what the fuck! I’ve bought several games from D2D over the past couple of years and none of them are available to me.

The way the systems run is the difference between shooting a machine gun in Halo 1 vs. Counter Strike or Half Life 1. Steam is cleaner, it snaps and responds instantly, it’s not just for show and it won’t slow your computer down.

I don’t usually rant but the Comrade system sucks, I’m going to let it all out here… I hate waiting for those timed GameSpy downloads and I hate installing unnecessary shit on my computer. Steam took seconds to download and install, it all happened in less than a minute. Comrade by comparison took several minutes and then froze several times when I tried to uninstall it! I’m running XP through Boot Camp on my MackBook Pro and ultimately I used the start > programs menu to use the included uninstaller. Steam also downloaded my game faster because it uses a distributed network of content akin to BitTorrent. In fact, my game is already fully loaded and ready to play… I’m just busy writing this post!

If you’re considering the downloadable versions of Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 or any other DL games for that matter (which are great at saving resources and power because you don’t have to spin a CD or throw away a plastic case and insert, which can also get lost and scratched) do yourself a favor and use Steam. You’ll be glad you did several years down the line when you’ve got a new computer and it actually remembers the games you purchased and lets you re-download them…

I watched a very interesting documentary on dreams recently and learned that our minds mix in elements of real life and use the state as a sort of “consequence free” obstacle course. Some dreams are fantastic and allow us to innovate and discover a new approach, others put us face to face with challenges and would be killers to keep our reflexes tight. The interesting thing is, people who lose the ability to dream due to stroke or other accident can’t learn things as quickly or adapt as a result… It all makes sense right?

It is really amazing how our body and mind can take the things we are interested in or working on and allow us to master it, just by sleeping a little. Many times I have gone snowboarding or practiced a new dive at the pool then quit for several weeks or even a whole season only to find that my skills are better than when I last left off. The one dream success that I haven’t been able to master is getting air out of a half pipe on a skate board. I did it in dreams several times but also got decked out (landed on the deck) and have never really been able to soar on the real life side. I have also had several “work” style dreams where I mastered a job and saved money… invested wisely and became rich and renowned only to wake up and realize that I would have to do it all over again! It’s the journey not the destination that matters right? Yeah.

Today I went up to an area of San Francisco that I would nickname “little Mexico” because that’s what it looked like. People on every corner waving trying to jump on for a ride to some work site. Of course, I wasn’t there looking for workers, I was grabbing a MacBook Air that I found on Craigslist. Turned out to be a sweet deal and the guy who sold it to me (John) was really cool, he runs a business called BodyFi which is like a personal boot camp, they just got some exposure through Groupon and I guess all is good. The new laptop is sweet and super light, it will be my third Mac, still no iphone or ipod though.

After the the laptop session I decided to explore a little and drove up to Bernal Heights Park which was a new experience. I’ve never seen so many dogs! My foot is hurt right now so I’m wearing this support shoe but I was so excited to get the view I just climbed right up the hill and took it all in. Earlier in the day I had watched a show on History about the earthquakes in San Francisco (probably being aired because we’ve had two or three 4ish quakes recently). Just like the rest of America, California and San Francisco are in debt, in need of repair, and precariously positioned for a major ass kicking when oil starts to get expensive, when bridges and other infrastructure starts to decay and break (any day now) and when the “big one” finally does hit. According to the scientists on History the next big quake will be more disastrous than any of the others so far. Instead of learning from the bigger quakes they were downplayed and spun off as fires in order to get investors from New York and other locations to help rebuild. Well fuck, isn’t that just the story of our world?

On a positive note, I donated two guitars recently. One to a young man in India and one to an orphanage in Peru. Music is awesome. I hope I get even better at it tonight as I dream, I read that you can actually steer your dreams if you think about what you want before you go to sleep. I’m working on learning Come Home by Julia and the Doogans and tabbed out the chorus tonight:

Capo on fourth fret, regular tuning.

E—0–0–0
A—0–3–3
D—2–2–3
G—2–0–0–(hammer onto 2 to match song)
B—1–1–1
E—0–0–0

Tonight, Christmas Eve, I flew back to Colorado to visit my family. The trip was great.. the whole day was great! I saw my French friend in the morning and finally met her cute ballerina daughter from NY, met up with my other Jewish friend and helped improve her site a little then she gave me a ride to SJC airport. on the flight I met a wonderful lady named Cindy (Cindy Loo Hoo anybody?) all was well.

I got into DIA and met with my sister and Mom who picked me up, the drive was super fast and easy and on the way my sister mentioned that my aunt has gotten ovarian cancer… She is a nurse director so she was lucky to have caught it early and being that she has great benefits she will get good care. Such an interesting thing, it was easy to acknowledge, these things happen. I half expect my grandparents on both sides of the family to begin dying and this aunt doesn’t have the best health to begin with, it’s not that I don’t care but the initial announcement seemed reasonable.

We arrived at my grandmother’s house a bit early and began chatting and helping prepare the meal. Everyone was showing up late but the aunt (who has cancer) showed up early and met with my sister and I. I had completely forgotten at this point and was just enjoying everyone’s company, I showed her a song I discovered recently by a friend of mine. The song is called “The Hospital Song” and it really caught my attention because my aunt works in a hospital and I knew she would like it. The song is also spiritual and this aunt has suffered the loss of her husband several years back and just had a generally challenging life in many ways (though she is strong and a real good person). So I showed her the song and I could tell she was moved. Even before I found out about her cancer or anything this song moved me, it’s just so beautiful and almost spiritual in it’s simplicity and analogies. Simply good.

After the song she told my sister and I “now is as good a time as any to tell you something” and she proceeded to tell us both that she has been diagnosed with cancer and will have to have her ovaries and other parts removed… potentially even going in for chemotherapy. She was being strong but I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and hear her tone wavering, see her mouth and face tensing up. Tears were filling my eyes and my jaw began sputtering, my throat felt tight and dry. I was trying to figure out what it all meant. I will be sad to see her go if indeed she passes away from this, a person cannot really be replaced, but at the same time it’s not the knowledge of her potential loss that made me cry for I had already known this. Seeing her struggle and connecting with her fears just pushed me over the edge and we all had a good cry and a great hug. I really felt lucky to know about it and to experience that “real” moment with her, good or bad, that’s what family and friends are for and it’s amazing really.

She said she wanted to download the song and keep it with her at work in the hospital to listen to and cheer up with. That made me happy. I plan on learning the song and playing it for her, playing it at her funeral when she eventually dies… cancer or not.

The other interesting part of this story is that my real life friend from high school Daryl wrote this song. I connected with him last week just thanking him for the amazing music and wonderful thoughts. It was a great conversation. Daryl is unique and special in his ability to think and act so positively and be cheerful and goofy. He was also paralyzed from the waist down in the last year or so of high school. I don’t know the details but he lost movement from the waist down and will likely spend his life in a wheelchair. He is a living example of hope and appreciation of life. He’s a religious person but more importantly in my mind he is a positive, caring and good person, a true inspiration. I told my aunt this and I think it helped her look beyond her own scary situation and see the deeper beauty of the song and of life.

I am not a huge TV watcher, I don’t even have a TV! but I love movies and stories no matter the genre. I go to ballets, plays, watch old movies, indie flicks, online series… anything that’s good, and Battlestar Galactica is so good I am recommending it publicly here.

So many times I have been watching the series and seen a philosophically challenging or emotionally moving scene, I’ve been moved to the brink of tears! Tonight, while watching the first episode of disk three season 4.0 I was touched by the scene where one cylon executes another, a six in particular. The six has hurt feelings because she was killed by a human back on Caprica and has lived with that fear ever since. She describes the pain and fear she experienced as she drown and was beaten down by this human. On the verge of tears she acknowledges that she should not have killed the human in revenge but it is too late and she is executed.

Number Six is played by the amazing actress Tricia Helfer who also voices a character in the newly released Halo ODST video game. Tricia, your performance was amazing and has been so throughout the series. Thank you for moving me so much and compelling so much thought and emotion, I really felt for your character and almost instantly fell in love and wished I could have helped her and set the violence and fighting aside. All lives are special and worth keeping or at least loving… and that is the point the cylons make in the series. Even artificial lives are special… of course they are! but that point may sometimes be lost in our fast paced industrialized society, a place and time where life is money, food, fuel and entertainment.

To the team that wrote and conceived Battlestar, this episode, and so many others. Thank you! I hope to see and encourage many more people to watch the series because they are so relevant and moving. I feel so much growth and inspiration each time I watch a particularly good episode, at the same level if not beyond that of the best feature movies I have watched.

Today I bought Sony’s new PSPgo and have been enjoying the crap out of it all evening. Favorite game by far is Rock Band, I have noticed that while playing MotorStorm and other button holding games my hands start to fall asleep but that’s not a problem when… the PSP go freezes!

I was quitting out of Motor Storm Arctic Edge using the PSP Home button when bam, I got a gray screen and the message “please wait.” so I waited… and waited, and waited! Nothing happened, even pressing all of the buttons, sliding the screen, flicking the power switch, plugging it in. I finally figured out the solution as follows:

Solution! Hold the power button up (for a hard reboot) for a good ten seconds until you see the lights turn off and the screen go blank. After a bit of research I found that this “please wait” but happens on older units and some actually have to have the battery removed which is not a luxury that PSPgo owners have, so Sony, please fix this!

You pretend to have an orgasm, I’ll pretend to care and we can both pretend to be happy.

I just thought of this randomly tonight after Dave and I went surfing at Linda Mar, I caught a few good ones but the passion is kind of gone. Later we went back to Dave’s and mixed energy drink solutions, I was sort of pessimistic about the idea, citing Red Bull and others, the founders of Red Bull both invested $500,000 of their own money to get it off the ground… pretty fantastic company these days, almost spurring on and supporting whole cultures that might not otherwise exist, I consider it art.

Last week I wrote an article crediting the PSP go for being environmentally sustainable. As a fully digital device it can download games, movies, music and all sorts of other stuff including demos and older PlayStation & PlayStation 2 titles. Instead of having to waste plastic on CD’s, DVD’s, boxes, packaging, shipping, paper manuals and everything else that goes into physical distribution, devices like Apple’s iPod and Sony’s PSPgo rely completely on the internet.

So all is well and good but there are still more questions to be answered about the PSPgo. For example, this weekend I am considering an upgrade to my car stereo. It has been several years since I put my last deck in and since then there have been several innovations in how portable devices like iPods can be integrated and played through car speakers. These innovations are great because they empower end users like me to download songs instead of buying them in store… once again saving materials and helping the environment. My last deck had a 1/4″ auxiliary audio in jack in addition to it’s CD/MP3 player, it was similar to this Sony deck which allows audio to be imported directly. The newest generation of car stereos have USB ports built in which not only import audio but also charge devices and even allow users to control the devise itself! Functions like next song, play and pause are all controlled directly on the dials and buttons of the deck. Just below is one such device sold by none other than Sony… You can see the USB input on the far right side in the middle, just above the quarter inch jack.

So lets put the pieces together. Sony makes the PSP which can play music, movies, games and functions in much the same way as an iPod. Their newest PSP, the “go” has an expanded 16Gig hard drive and is positioned to be an all digital device, empowering users to download more media and be more portable. Sony also makes in dash CD players, some of which have USB connections designed to interface with iPods… Now will these same in dash decks also be able to interface with the PSPgo and allow users to change songs, charge, and pass through audio directly to their car speakers just like iPods? I sure hope so, but I’m guessing not.

Now I’m torn because I’m not sure whether to buy a current gen car stereo or wait until I can verify this. Maybe I’ll have to wait for a new line of Sony decks to be released? Does anyone out there know the answer to this? Sony, are you listening?

I wrote this today on my flight back from Omaha, I had visited an old friend who I had not seen for eight years and seeing him with his wife inspired me and reminded me of how I see love and what I dream of.

“She is sweet and down to earth, avoiding argument and confrontation. Not because she is weak or passive but because her wisdom tells her that listening can do more to solve problems and create love. In this way she has always been smart beyond her years. And still, it is more than the habbit of religion or small town values, it’s a choice that close friends see burning in her very spirit. Optimistic and witty, her demeanor is more silly than sexy but a playful streak follows her into the bedroom creating a passion that is tru and limitless as it is innocent. She loves to be touched and held, cold days are just a good excuse to hug more and she feels lost without them. Her sweetness averts unwanted advances and men find themselves at her defense, working to preserve her purity as it is special and unique. Perfection in her is only limited by artificial measures, missteps and fumbles serve to intensify her appeal and acknowledge humanity. An hour with her is a trip to simpler times, good is in everything and even the most complex issues can be explored and uncovered. Disagreements wash away like a warm afternoon shower on a bright yellow raincoat, clear and fresh. Conflict stimulates growth and there is always a rainbow to be shared when it’s done, the trees are always growing. Physically she is average and her clothing choice is cute with a splash of beautiful on special occasions. Even so, her presence radiates joy and pushes the five senses to appreciate forgotten subtleties. Children smile at her and she never hesitates to laugh or open her eyes in full to let us in. They sparkle like fireflies dancing in front of a dark sunset. They create a feeling of wonder in how physical realities can mirror spiritual ones, if only for moments at a time. The song is beautiful and alive in that moment, it is recognizable but never exactly the same. She will try anything, but it’s really more about trust than vanity or excess. Truth be told, her adventures have been somewhat modest and even the simplest rounds hold her appreciation. Waking up each day becomes a joy with her. Conversations about the fanciest and best of our world shine as they bounce off of her with added amazement and wonder. Orange beetles freak her out, though she loves animals and nature, she tries to scoop the little things aside rather than exert her will. Family matters to her and people sometimes ask if she was raised under a certain preferred faith. Her friends come in 37 flavors but they all shine from within and share that same infections, disarming glow. She is self conscious but only about her manners, the rest seems almost foreign.”